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Old 10-28-2009, 09:07 AM
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Default Love, affection

Love, affection

agape (αγαπη) - love in action, sacrificial love, DOING love, performing a loving act. While this word MAY include "feelings" of love, it primarily references BEHAVIOR that is caring and loving.

philia (φιλια) - Affection, love, tenderness, friendship. While this word MAY include behavior, it primarily references the "feelings" of affection or love.

Joh n21:15-17 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He *said to him, "Tend My lambs." He *said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He *said to him, "Shepherd My sheep." He *said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus *said to him, "Tend My sheep.

This is a tricky passage to fully understand in English, as the word play in the Greek does not come through. I'm going to post it again, except this time I'm going to substitute "love" with the appropriate Greek word.

Joh n21:15-17 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you AGAPE Me more than these?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I PHILIA You." He *said to him, "Tend My lambs." He *said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you AGAPE Me?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I PHILIA You." He *said to him, "Shepherd My sheep." He *said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you PHILIA Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you PHILIA Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I PHILIA You." Jesus *said to him, "Tend My sheep.

This is an interesting exchange, primarily because Peter keeps intentionally switching words on Jesus. Jesus asks him about agape, and Peter answers with philia.

The irony is that Peter actually thought that philia was SUPERIOR to agape. To him, agape was nothing more than a fake action devoid of truth, because there were no deep emotions attached to it. What was TRUE was what you FELT!!! If you did agape, you were FAKING it, because you didn't really FEEL anything for the person. So when Jesus asked him about "agape," Peter thought he was responding with a SUPERIOR answer. It was almost as though Peter thought Jesus was asking, "would your rate your love for me as a FIVE," and Peter was responding, "No, I would rate my love as a TEN!"

But in the process, Peter was completely missing the point Jesus was making: EMOTIONS cannot be commanded, but BEHAVIOR can. I cannot order my daughter to FEEL affectionate for the little girl who teases her . . . but I CAN demand that she treat that little girl with courtesy, respect and gentleness. Real love, the kind that makes a difference in the world, is the kind that is founded upon what you DO, not what you FEEL.

The problem is that Peter wasn't getting it.

So Jesus switched tactics, and the third time, He used Peter's word, philia, and asked, "Do you REALLY have all that affection for me?"

Peter was hurt by that question (because he STILL didn't get it). Peter was an emotional dude, and he had just claimed to have philia for Jesus twice. But Jesus wasn't really asking about Peter's feelings, He was trying to drive home the point, "Do you FEEL affection for me? Fine. That's Great. Then SHOW it by what you DO!"

And this, more than anything else, is the central message of Jesus: DO love for others. On one occasion, Jesus summed up the law and the prophets with two love commands (love God, love your neighbor). On another occasion, Jesus summerized THOSE two love commands with ONE (treat others as you wish to be treated), which defined "loving" God and others as how you TREAT other people: ACTIONS.

THIS is how it is possible to love your enemies: it doesn't matter what you feel about them, it matters what you DO to them. Treat them with tenderness and respect, forgive them for the harm they have done to you, and THAT will allow them to see the God of the universe shining through you.

Remember this in your marriages, your friendships, your interactions with other believers, and your encounters with strangers: real love is not about what you feel, it is about forgiving when what they deserve is condemnation and judgment. It is about serving others, even if they treat you with disrespect and arrogance. It is about responding with soft, kind words, even when they are cutting, insulting and hateful. It is about determining that you will do no harm, no matter how much they do to you. It is about refusing to let others rob you of the honor and priveledge of showing them tenderness and courtesy whether they deserve it or not.

THAT is how we show we are Christians by our love.

Grace and Peace to you all,

Rhomphaia
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