Funny (but true!?) actual classified ads.
These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspapers - a few smiles for your day...
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER .
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! (SAM)
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out awhile.
Better be a big reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ( Stephanie)
And the best one?:
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything..
Peace will not be found at a MidEast table. Peace began at a MidEast STABLE, but everyone seems to deny it.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
Believing in evolution is like expecting a tornado to go through a junkyard and create a Mercedes Benz on its way out!
If you don't stand behind our US troops, then please feel free to stand in front of them. Yea, that's what I thought..........